Guess What?

Why being so different from people makes life harder?

Harder to make other people to understand every move I make and every word I say.. to understand everything I see, every moment I live and each time I breath.

Why do I have to live like this?.. it’s so hard to feel like pissed, to see everything in a different color, to live on the borderline and at the same time, feel like falling from a very high place, like trying to see in a completely dark place, and hiding every second below this happy face that pretends that everything is ok, when my soul screams but no one hears..

No.. I haven’t found even one person that knows what I’m feeling, what I’m talking about, and what means every word I’m screaming.

I would like to find my rescue or at less one thing to make me feel alive, to make me feel real and to know that this is not a dream, a dream that becomes a nightmare every day, each day the sun goes down and the moon goes out, and then I wake and feel that everything is not more than fake.

I just want to find my heaven, a heaven that shows every moment I’ve imagined perfectly painted in a wall of dreams, but not alone, but with the missing half of my soul, a half who lives in a different body that I’m not sure if one day I will find.. find it, feel it, smell it, live it..

I’m on the way.. to try to feel this emptiness end, to find the meaning of that what people call more than a feeling, that what could make your heart to stop beating but at the same time, what makes your heart to beat and your lunges to breath, that what makes your brain to work, that what is more than a single word, now you guess?... yes… I’m talking about love…